Q:  I’m what you would call a serial dater.  Never really stay with one person for too long.  To this point, I have a few favorite spots in the city for picking up women.  Unfortunately, they seem to be drying up.  What places are the new black, if you will?

A:  Where’s in, where’s out?  The migratory patterns of NYC’s women folk are harder to discern than the Rosetta Stone or even a Magic Eye. And we haven’t approached the topic of what scene you generally roll in (Meatpacking, East Village, Ho-Ho-Kus).  On the average twenty-something tip, I recently went to a place called Forum (127 4th Ave.), which was voted top hook-up spot of 2008 by Citysearch. Happily the ratio of guys to girls (during a moderately busy happy hour) was decidedly in my favor.  So, you could give this place a shot or you could listen to my even better (and extremely practical) advice to follow.

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If you ever decide to take the short walk from the Fulton Ferry Landing in DUMBO up to the Brooklyn Heights Promenade, you know that by the time you’re on the Promenade, your legs are burning and you’re out of breath from the incredibly steep climb up the initial stretch of Columbia Heights. Now imagine barreling back down that hill in a home-made wheeled vehicle of sorts, possibly without brakes - and you’ve pretty much got the Soapbox Derby.

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From I’m on Fire:

Hey little girl is your daddy home
Did he go away and leave you all alone
I got a bad desire
I’m on fire

In a small corner of the universe somewhere between Pluto and Badass (formerly known as Uranus) lives a Mecca of liquid delight. Open your mouths, close your eyes and get ready, cuz Daddy’s got a big surprise . . . of cold cerveza, and the longest, most beautiful piece of oak this side of the Mississippi.

Courtyard Bar
40-18 Queens Blvd.
Sunnyside, NY 11104
(Take the 7 Train to 40th St.)
Phone: (718) 729-4601

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Rated X, The Panty Party at Don Hills - 511 Greenwich St. at Spring St.
More photos available via RandomNightOut.com

UPCOMING NIGHTLIFE ON NEIGHBORBEE:

The 2nd Gawker Commenter’s Ball
Friday, July 25th
Café Charbon - 170 Orchard Street
7:00pm

Cuddle Party!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
12:00pm - 3:30pm
$30 per person, 2 for $50!
Click here to Register

Quentins Anonymous Party
Wednesday, July 30th
Madame X - 94 W Houston
7:00pm - 10:00pm
RSVP here

Movie “Better Off Dead”
Wednesday, July 30th
Tompkins Square Park
Starts at Dusk

Bittersweets Two Year Anniversary!
Saturday, July 26th
Bittersweets - 37 Broadway
btw. Dunham Pl. and Wythe Avenue
South Williamsburg
6pm-11pm

The Nasty Jam Dance Party
Thursday, July 24th
The Bodega
1089 Broadway, at Dodworth Street
$5 cover / 9pm-10pm

McCarren Park Pool Parties
Sunday, July 27th
McCarren Park Pool
Lorimer St. btw. Driggs and Bayard
2:00pm

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This week the metro, the Daily News, and the Times ran stories about the dangers of overheated playground safety mats. These days playground burns are increasingly common and two of the papers share the story of an infant who suffered second and third-degree burns from a mat at Carl Schurz Playground that reached 166 degrees. Warning: If you’re squeezy about looking at pictures of burns, do not click on any of those links.

Unfortunately, there hasn’t been much of a solution for moms of children who suffered burns. Some are suing the city, but none of the cases have gotten very far in the courts. Adrian Benepe, the commissioner for of the Department of Parks and Recreation, advises against walking barefoot on the mats. While I agree, I also know that kids will be kids. Somehow, someway, a random body part will be in contact with the mat. I also like the idea of canopies or more shaded playgrounds, but as the nearly 100 comments on the Times piece proves, that’s merely a suburban wonder.

What do you think? What are your favorite playgrounds in the city? And do you have any playground stories; injury-related or otherwise?

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Q: Hans, I’m running out of good ideas for dates. As much as there is going on in this city, every move from concerts to ethnic fairs seems cliché at this point. Got ideas?

A: Greetings, Dating Fan. And thanks for the lay-up. Just so happens your intrepid dater went on the most interestingly awkward date of his life this past weekend. I guess what I’m saying is if you can’t impress someone with a Mozzarepa anymore maybe it’s time you brought them to the Museum of Sex.

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If I had not been planning on hitting Nolita House, I might have walked clear by the entrance. It’s almost lost amidst some serious scaffolding. While not so attractive at the moment from the exterior, lurking inside is a cozy brunch spot you should not miss.

However, I will warn it was definitely one of the noisier brunch locales I have tried so if you have a pounding headache, need to have a deep conversation, or are bringing perhaps more audibly sensitive guests with you, I might recommend you hold off on this one. Read the rest of this entry »

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I’m writing this on Sunday, a few hours after my friend (and fellow Brooklyn resident) James completed the 2008 New York City Triathlon. The race consisted of a 1.5 kilometer swim (in the Hudson!), a 40 kilometer bike ride around the Upper West Side, and a 10 kilometer run around the loop in Central Park

James’ wife, their families, and their friends joined thousands of spectators in unusually high heat and humidity to cheer him on. We were supporting him for two reasons: first, his amazing transformation. The James I knew from college was a beer-drinking foodie who spent many an afternoon doing nothing more strenuous than reaching for a bag of chips from his perch on the couch. Now he was swimming, biking, and running further and faster than I’ve ever attempted.

The second reason is more complicated. This contest wasn’t just about surprising his friends with his hidden athletic ability.

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Hey everyone, it’s supposed to be 180balls outside this weekend, so try to stay cool. If the hype is to believed, the calendar changes this weekend to year 1 PDK (Post Dark Knight). I’m trying to contain my raging EVERYTHING until my ticket says I can walk in to the theater and see the film. In the meantime…

GO SEE THIS!

Tearing The Veil of Maya (Sunday July 20, 8:00 PM; Union Hall, 702 Union Street *BROOKLYN*) - Downtown comedy heroes Eugene Mirman and Michael Showalter celebrate the second anniversary of their always super-talented show.

EDIT: Sold out!

WHY YOU SHOULD GO

Since his long-running show in the East Village ended this past winter, Union Hall is the place to get your constant source of Mirman. His offbeat worldview and complete confidence in his odd ideas win nearly every crowd over. Showalter is amazing, as 10 years performing comedy on film (The State; Wet Hot American Summer) and live (the far-superior-to-the-show Stella tours) would lead you to believe. And the guests they get for their shows (David Cross, Aziz Ansari, Mike Birbiglia) are worth twice the price of admission themselves.

VIDEO OF THE WEEK

12 Seconds (written by Chris Kelly; starring Winston Noel, Andree Vermeulen, Nate Shelkey; directed by Mitch Magee)

Want to see your show or video featured in this column? E-mail me and let me know!

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