As much as I talk about random hook ups and having sex frequently with ‘first name only’ guys, deep down I like to consider myself a hopeless romantic. I was not always on the quest for Mister Right. As you may remember I only recently came out to myself and my friends. While Mr. Right Now has always played a part in my life I was truly hoping to find a cute Miss Right. A woman I could settle down with, marry and start a family! I had this idea of the perfect family and truly believed that in order to find happiness I needed to follow this specific path.

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It’s sometimes said that, in New York City, you can have a good job, a good apartment and a good companion—but not all three at the same time.

This saying appeared on Sex and the City and while I don’t know if it is an absolute, I certainly know it to be true in my own life.  I have yet to experience all three and currently I only have one, hence the reason I’ve been MIA for a week now.

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As much as I boast about an active, healthy sex life, I have never been as in control of it as I was this past weekend. Occasionally, I will have a drink, or two, or several and become a little freer with my body, but this weekend, as I was in the middle of packing for my upcoming move, I got the itch. I figured there were two options and I was totally sick of playing it solo, so I bit the bullet and sent a text to a guy I hooked up with in the neighborhood. All it said was, “I’m horny, are you around?” It was definitely a booty text and I was not ashamed of it either.

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There is a good reason why I liked the name ‘Paulinator’ when suggested titles were being thrown around prior to writing for the Neighborbee Blog. It has a wonderful suggested meaning that simply put, describes me perfectly.

I have said it before, I enjoy sex. I know that many people feel differently about this subject, but if there is one thing that we should all agree on, it is that you should know your health status if you have an active sex life. This is why I make it a point to play safe. When searching Manhunt or Adam4Adam for an evening hookup, I do my best to search for “HIV-” individuals and there is always protection. As cheesy as it is, ‘no glove, no love!’

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Ever since I was a young lad, I always seemed to develop a crush on those that were seemingly unavailable to me. You know, basically I was drawn to the Regina George types, and while I’ve seen the error of my ways and tried to improve upon this, I will say I still find myself attracted to what I can not have.

Take one of my friends, whom we will call JB. JB is in a relationship and has been for quite some time. I like his boyfriend, though I tend to hang out with JB a bit more than with his partner. One night, after several drinks, JB and I ended up meeting up and heading back to my place.

I’ve totally had a crush on JB (obviously since he is attached) and was completely beside myself when the events of this night unfolded. I’m not big on the term ‘homewrecker’ and I would absolutely be devastated if I was in a non-open relationship and my boyfriend hooked up with someone else. I definitely don’t regret that night, but I have to say it was incredibly awkward the next time I saw JB’s boyfriend. Thankfully, no one would have expected little ol’ me to do something like that! Moving on…

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I will be the first to admit, I have this tendency to become almost instantly obsessed with a guy. Today, with web sites like Facebook and Myspace, I can go from normal guy to psycho stalker in no time flat.  While I can probably give you a half dozen examples of this, I thought I would continue with my current ‘obsession.’

Following my evening with this guy, who we shall for purposes of this story call CJ, I made it very clear I was incredibly interested in him.  Typically I fall for guys who I don’t sleep with right away and as I mentioned before CJ and I didn’t have sex, so true to form, I couldn’t get him off my mind.

We exchanged numbers, said we should definitely meet up again sometime and then he left. I promised myself I would not obsess this time and handle the situation maturely, so I only sent one text to him that afternoon, letting him know I had a great time and couldn’t wait to see him again.

I thought it was a bit odd I didn’t hear anything from him right away, but he did mention his blackberry’s battery had died in the middle of the night, so I realized my text will mostly likely show up once he had power back.

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In regards to Jim Hensen’s Muppets, there are two kinds of worlds: a muppet world where humans exist and a human world where muppets exist. The reason I bring this up is that I sort have been dealing with this in my own life.

You see, I am a gay man living very much in a straight world surrounded by straight friends who like to go to straights bars and I am sure you get the point I am trying to make.  Before I go any further I want to make it clear: I adore my friends. They have stuck with me through some really rough patches and I consider them to be my family in NYC! There comes a point though, where I want to really go out and have a chance to find friends who enjoy the same thing, do they same thing and understand exactly what I am going through.

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Back in high school I was called a “string bean” and I am pretty sure while I haven’t heard it said to my face, that term still could be applied to me today. I really have no qualms about the way I look and I am quite pleased with the man I have grown to be, especially over the past few months as I became more and more accepting of my sexuality.

Yet my appearance has always been a big issue for me, especially as I attempt to work my way into the superficial entertainment industry where I’m constantly being judged on the way I look. Lucky for me I have high self-esteem and don’t take comments or criticism on my body type, receding hairline or voice to heart. That being said, I decided it was time to put this new Out Paul into gear and revamp my overall appearance.

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Several months back I made the conscious effort to stop denying my sexual orientation and admit to myself and to the world around me that I am gay! This whole process has opened my eyes to the city in such an interested and excited way; it is a whole new chapter in my life!

And that is what this column will be about, that new chapter! So hello, my name is Paul and you can think of me your gay BFF! I’m going to give you the scoop on what is happening in the gay scene these days and do my best to share with you stories about gay life in the city, taking you from my discreet Manhunt hookups, gay outings to bars and clubs and potentially finding my first relationship.

Don’t worry though, I’ll be protecting the innocent and even those not so innocent, but all in all, this column will hopefully inspire you to live your life proudly in the city that will always love you!
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