This past Thursday, Icelandic artist Olafur Eliasson’s “New York City Waterfalls” installation finally debuted. While there are a number of Circle Line boat tours operating on the East River, you can also see all four waterfalls from land in Brooklyn, if you’re willing to do a little walking. After the storms settled this past weekend, I set out on my own tour.

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It’s scheduled to be another big week for New York art. It’s also scheduled to be another big week for romance, smoochin’ and lovin’ you down, girl. So get on your party hats, put on your dancing shoes, and then take them both off, because you’re going to some art exhibits. Honestly, why would you put on dancing shoes and party hats to go to an art gallery? I can’t take you anywhere. Sometimes I don’t even know why I try.

Follow the jump for all the ups and downs about what you’ll need to know.

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Openings have slowed to a trickle recently, but this week, White Columns in the West Village hosts Fia Backström’s groundbreaking new show that showcases societal interactions in a whole new way.

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What a week it has been. First, it’s too hot. Then, it’s too rainy. Then, it’s too hot while it’s rainy. Keeps a lot of people indoors, that’s for sure. Personally, I was taking advantage of my localized weather machine. Around me, it’s always 72 and sunny. Unless things get a little sweaty. You know what I’m talking about, ladies! Women love it when you’re sweaty. Sweaty and hairy; two things that will never stop being attractive to women.

What’s worse is that the weather is supposed to be rainy, humid, stupid, and "going skinny dipping with a girl I had a crush on in third grade", too. I hate that weather so much!

But like the French say, "If you can’t beat them, join them." So pay no mind what kind of weather is raining on you, or snowing on you, or blowing on you (oh wait, no!). Get out and enjoy some freakin’ art!

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This week I hit up David Byrne ’s new sonic installation at the Battery Maritime Building. If you don’t know him, he was a founding member of The Talking Heads back in the day. Using a variety of electric motors he’s made it possible to play the entire building as though it were a huge musical instrument. It’s completely mind blowing.

Here’s how to wrap your mind around this. If this were an SAT question it would look like this: “Complete this analogy; building:instrument as _______:silly” and you’d of course answer “c: Pan Flute” and then end up going to Harvard. Congratulations! You just got into Harvard!

Follow the jump to read some more.

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Did you know that today is the Museum Mile Festival????? If you did, don’t gloat about it because no one likes a braggart. If you didn’t, aren’t I so great for letting you know about it? You’re welcome. You can send checks directly to me (just put my first name on the envelope, the post office knows who I am).

I recommend you leave your stuffy apartment and go up there right now (provided that you’re reading this between 6-9pm give or take about 45 minutes for travel time). That’s 23 car-free blocks and free admission to all 9 of the most famous museums in the country included within. To me this seems like a deal that you can’t pass up. Just like that gold selling business that I sent all my gold into. I’m going to get cash for my unused gold! What could possibly go wrong?

Follow the jump for some more information about what to make sure you visit since this thing can be kinda nuts. Just like our sponsor, Almond Joy Candy Bars. Almond Joy: Coconut and Nuts Aren’t A Candy, So We Put Chocolate On It.™ Read the rest of this entry »

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Through an accident of fate, karma, and bureaucratic regulation, I have the luxury of spending all of my Fridays this summer not at work. While I’m tempted to pass many hours on my couch in front of the television, I can always do that on Saturday. Instead, last Friday I decided to visit two places I have (shamefully, considering eight years of residence in the borough) never been – the Brooklyn Museum and the Brooklyn Botanic Garden.

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Did everyone enjoy their Memorial Day weekend? I sure did. I jumped out of bed in my feetie pajamas as soon the clock chimed 6 o’clock, slid down the fireman pole, and stared with wide-eyed joy at the spread that St. Memorial Day had brought me. There was so many Flag chocolates sitting in the baseball hats that we’d hung from the door knobs. The Royal Oak that we’d chopped down earlier that week looked so majestic. And then there was the gifts! Oh my! Let’s just say that St. Memorial Day was very generous.

So on to the art! It was a mostly slow week since all the galleries are either taking it easy it preparation for everyone being out of town, or ramping up for the up-coming summer shows. The good news is that there is still some art to be had. So we loaded up the Rolls and headed out to see the Telectroscope under the Brooklyn Bridge. What happened to our Handsome Hero? Follow the jump!

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These past few days were really fun, filled with lots of things to do and see here in New York. And you blew it.

Don’t feel bad, I didn’t see most of it anyway. International Contemporary Furniture Fair? Read about that on the new Interwebs. Creativity Now Conference? More like ‘Creativity Last Week Conference’! The New York Photo Festival? Yeah, got pretty close to seeing it but didn’t. I’m not Superman. I just love money. Are those even the same thing? I don’t think so. Regardless, I didn’t kill that man.

Here are some things that look like they would help make you feel better about missing those other great things. And if you did go to those events that I somehow missed while I was shooting around on my jetpack, watch your back. Because if you’re bragging about it, I’ll drop my soda on you from way up high with my jetpack. Take that, you smug jerk.

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(img via XKCD )

Ugh, what a night. You should have seen it. So I had just gotten back from an international jewel heist (it went well by the way), and I’m walking into my penthouse and I look up and what do I see? It’s a surprise party! “But it’s not my birthday,” I protested. Turns out one of my butlers had the wrong date. Oh well. I’ll never pass up a party.

Bottom line, that’s why I missed my post this week. But I’ll be back next week with something awesome.

In the meantime, here’s a round up of what’s new(ish) and happening(ism?) in New York Art.

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