The Paulinator: To Kiss or Not to Kiss?

In regards to Jim Hensen’s Muppets, there are two kinds of worlds: a muppet world where humans exist and a human world where muppets exist. The reason I bring this up is that I sort have been dealing with this in my own life.

You see, I am a gay man living very much in a straight world surrounded by straight friends who like to go to straights bars and I am sure you get the point I am trying to make.  Before I go any further I want to make it clear: I adore my friends. They have stuck with me through some really rough patches and I consider them to be my family in NYC! There comes a point though, where I want to really go out and have a chance to find friends who enjoy the same thing, do they same thing and understand exactly what I am going through.

In New York City I am bound to find it right? It is tough though when my straight friends are constantly monopolizing my time doing things where there is little chance for me to potentially find a Mr. Right or even a Mr. Right Now. What I think makes this quite difficult is the group of friends that I hang out with for the most part are not particularly interested in dating, which seems odd to me, but to each their own, right?

Every so often, when I am not being pulled in all these different directions, I get a chance to go and do something where I am a gay man in a gay world! Recently, I had a night out on the town in the village where I saw a cabaret show at Duplex. It was a wonderful show to watch and this self-proclaimed “Hot Mess” was truly anything but a mess! In fact, she was fierce and flawless! Anyway, I tagged along with her gaggle of gays to an uptown (straight) bar and immersed myself in this new crowd. I met so many new people, exactly the kind of people I was searching for and I even found myself semi-hard semi-interested in this one cute guy.

I totally didn’t feel butterflies, nor did I feel like he was a Mr. Right, but I did enjoy bonding over how we both were newbies in this group. I was devastated though to find out from his childhood friend how straight this guy is! I’ve been a big believer that my gaydar is broken and I’m pretty sure this night confirmed it!

After feeling a little sad over this, I wound up at the bar talking with another guy, who I was pretty certain was not straight. This time though, I totally felt something. I really enjoyed his company, his sense of humor and on top of everything else, he was cute! So I spent the rest of the time at the bar talking with him, until the party dwindled and we made our way to Cleo’s Ninth Avenue Saloon where all I wanted to do was kiss this cute stranger!

After a late diner meal, the night came to a close and I couldn’t resist inviting him back to my place. I did my best to not kiss him in the taxi, and when we arrived at my building, we were faced with the decision to take the elevator or stairs to the third floor- easy choice: elevator! There was no way I could kiss him while walking up the stairwell!

I would be honest with you and tell you if the sex was unbelievable or not, but the truth is we didn’t have sex. There came a point when we were both naked in bed. I got this rush of excitement and asked him if he would want to wait to actually have sex. This was such a novel thought and I really didn’t want to ruin what could potentially be something really special. Sure enough he agreed and it was by far the best night spent in my bed… the aftermath though, is something of a different story. But that’s a different story and a much juicier topic, so until next time!

« previous post    next post »