Living Rent-Free: Part I

Ah, the 3-day weekend! Nothing beats it. No obligations to see family like on Thanksgiving or Christmas or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa. Three blissful, work-free days to use however you please.

Unless of course you’re like the many unemployed or non-salaryed workers across the city for whom a bank holiday is just another day you can’t make any money. This could make paying rent this month a little harder. In fact, maybe you’re starting to worry that you won’t make the rent at all, and the truth is if something doesn’t happen soon, you might be looking at a couple of months before you can get the cash together to keep the wolves at bay.

I’m here to help you out. Because the sad truth is that it can take anywhere from 3 months to forever to evict someone for not paying their rent in New York. A travesty of American justice, but one you can use to your advantage. [God, I hate myself for writing this.]

The warnings first, though. Pay your rent. On time. If you don’t, it will go on your transcript. Not the high school one that didn’t really matter. The Life Transcript. Your credit report. Landlords, understandably, are fond of people who pay, so unless you want to steal identities in order to get another apartment later when you can afford it, pay your rent on time. And while I’m dishing out sage life advice, same thing goes for your bills. You should also enroll in your 401K and eat your vegetables.

But if you can’t, if you’re between jobs, or the well of temp work has run dry, and it’s either drinking money or rent this month and we know where your priorities are, then I present you with The Friendly Landlord’s Guide To Understanding the Eviction Process and How Screwed You Are At Each Step.

Different landlords have different time-frames, but almost all of them will have started legal action if the rent is one full month late. Many others will start it after only week or two.

Whenever it happens, the first sign your landlord is on to you and she hasn’t just forgotten about your rent is when you receive a 3-Day Rent Demand. It will come from an attorney’s office, and it will sound scary, but don’t freak out. You still have time.

The 3-Day Rent Demand is just what it sounds like: A pretentious letter written in legalese warning you to pay your rent in three days or you’ll be taken to court. If you don’t have the money, there’s not really anything you can do at this point other than go look for a job or call your parents. You don’t really have to start worrying until you receive the Dispossession Notice. This will be at least a week later, and very often, another full month. Maybe more.

Even the most delinquent of tenants have to wonder why it could possibly take so long to evict a deadbeat. In other states you can be out on the curb within a month. A month! That’s maybe a little quick, but New York City’s absurdly pro-tenant laws make it the best city in the world to be habitually late on the rent.

Next week: The Dispo, The Warrant and The Eviction

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