The Swarm: Spinachdip NYC

This week on The Swarm, neighborbeeblog plays host to Spinachdip NYC. One of NYC’s earliest members of the blogosphere (waaaay back in 2004!), Mr. Dip recently moved to D.C. In the following post, he tells us New Yorkers the top 5 things we shouldn’t take for granted.

It’ll happen to you someday - you’re going to leave New York. Sooner or later, you’ll find a better paying job, start a family, or decide you want to spend your $1 million on something other than a 1-bedroom walkup. And when you do, you’ll miss New York.

I’ve lived in DC for the past year, and as comfortable as it is here, it’s not the same. Whereas people move to NYC for the big city experience, people who move to DC are there in spite of the big city-ness, and it shows.

It’s really the little things I miss, like the coffee vendor on the corner and seeing the Empire State from my rooftop. Anyway, here are the five things about New York that you might take for granted.

1. Pizza
   Well, this exactly isn’t a secret. New York pizza trumps all, but really, you have no idea how much you’ll miss it. And I’m not even talking about the Lombardi’s or Di Fara’s. What you’re really going to miss is that $1.50 slice from your corner pizza place. Because out here in America, pizza isn’t something you just grab - it’s a fucking ordeal. You have to figure out what everyone wants, dig around for coupons, place the order AND wait 30 minutes. All that for a Domino’s supreme pizza? That ain’t right
2. Celebrities
   After your first few weeks in the city, you pretty much get used to them. If you work near Rockefeller, say, you can’t help but run into Saturday Night Live cast members every few days. For a while, Uma Thurman was stalking me. But you know the drill, right? You leave the celebrities alone - they’re no different from your neighbors. It’s rude to stare. God, I miss that. The closest I’ve come to a brush with fame out here was eating pancakes one table over from the coroner from The WIre. As much as I love that show, he’s no Anne Hathaway.
3. Snobbery
   If you’re making it in New York, chances are, you’re good at something. And you’re sort of expected to flaunt your superiority, and to keep searching for more ways to better yourself. That’s why you have the Met, limited release films, a restaurant culture, etc. Out here, apparently, it’s considered unseemly to acknowledge your superiority over other people (and boy, do people hate it when you start a sentence with “In New York, there’s this place that…”). They call it “ëlitist”, and judging by how people say that word, it’s about the worst thing you can be. Honestly, I don’t understand what’s so bad about making sure other people know you are their better. Wouldn’t you appreciate that sort of information?
4. Immigrants
   Sure, they’re dirty and they talk funny, but boy, are they underappreciated. The big thing is the food - I used to have an empenada joint, a beef skewer vendor, a Malaysian restaurant, banh mi shop, and a dogs-and-papaya joint within walking distance. More than the varieties though, they keep prices low. People complain about the cost of living in New York, and yeah, housing and produce are ridiculously expensive, but try getting a $2.50 roast duck and rice in Bumblefuck, Iowa. The great thing about immigrants is that they bring their economies here, and if you look hard enough, you can find ways to cut down on your expenses. Out here, they push the immigrants out into the suburbs - that’s no use to anyone.
5. “Hey asshole!”New Yorkers have an undeserved reputation for rudeness. New Yorkers are blunt and often abrasive, I’ll give you that. But rude? To the contrary. When a city is as densely populated as NYC, sharing and compromising is a way of life. Which is why you can spot a tourist from a mile away - even accounting for their larger waistlines, they take up more space per person than the locals, talk loudly, and otherwise show little regard for their surroundings. It’s the product of the suburban lifestyle, where they’re isolated from human interaction for the most part, with their cars and their houses with yards. So when they step out of line, there’s no one to kindly yell “Hey asshole!” and remind them of their incivility.
   So be a good citizen today. Tell at least one person, “Hey asshole!” It shows that you care, and they’ll appreciate it. It’s for the good of the city, and by extension, the world.

« previous post    next post »